Observing the path each one has taken for years, the choices made, the ways followed, and being astonished, amazed or sadly disappointed.
Realizing that though we spent years in a relationship with someone, may it be love, family or friendship, and as we thought we knew the person, we could in fact never reach to the core of his soul.
Though all the ingredients of the self are there, and available for who wants to see, we are just able to see others through our own filter, creating a fake image of them. Is that the result of our inability to take in consideration the whole contradictory and complex faces of a person? Or just our inability to accept others as they truly are;.. and reshape them as per our needs and expectations?
Time can act as a reveler: staying away from someone for years, and reconnecting to him / her after a long time, may cause a shock to our memory. In fact, though all the faces of a personality are always contained and visible if we look closely, some sides of the personality may take over following the influences of our choices and the surroundings we live in: the life partner we take, the social circle we enter in, the place we live, the job we spend 80% of our time in... All creates our own reality and makes us throughout the years.
We create our lives and we are what we « choose to be » more or less consciously, often blindly, at times driven by « obligations ».
and as nothing comes as new and everything is already contained in us, whatever we are today is nothing but what we already were.
There is just a light on certain sides of us... we get influenced.
But the shock one can have in realizing how fake was our mentally projected image of a person, can cause grand trouble in one's mind when such a disappointment appear. May be the default of an idealistic and somehow naïve personality tending to see others as beautiful and perfect?
Observing ourselves is difficult as we have no distance . Observing others is easier as we keep a certain distance with the “case studied”. Relating to ourselves and making parallels between lives, events, relations... shows out a certain logic of life... That can help in understanding ourselves if one is interrested.
The logic behind any event, person relation... remains the same.... and we can apply what we observe in others to our lives....
But as for knowing others, we only perceive from others what we choose to see, through our own filter, and as that reality remains purely “subjective”, there is no way to actually « see » and understand truly others.
Moreover, each one having its own perception of the world, we all live in separate realities as numerous as the number of livings on earth. what we hardly tend to communicate is only our own perception, which can never be shared by others.
As there seems to be no way to understand / see others, how can there be a way to love / hate them. ?... we only love / hate what we consciously choose to see.
Therefore the solution does not lie in a projection outside ourselves, trying to find love and understanding people around, but rather in re centering ourselves to our own « self » to find within us the truth, the love, the reality, the others.. also ?.
As « We » are part of the whole and the whole is in us, we are no separated from others. But it is a mistake to think that we can reach others by projecting ourselves outside us.
Such a difficult truth to conceive and accept when we have been taught and told and repeated the opposite !
in thought process after a long time trip to India - (and some past analyse ^^ ) Amandine